Classy cannabis - How to Smoke Weed Like a Lady

To be clear, we aren’t talking about reinforcing gender norms here. The phrase ‘smoke weed like a lady’ is about creating a welcoming space for women to explore cannabis.

Without diving too deep into tired ‘stoner’ stereotypes, let’s just say that cannabis hasn’t always had a ‘classy' reputation. 

Women in particular can feel lost when trying out weed in a social setting. There are entire sets of unwritten rules about cannabis culture that most simply don’t know. 

While cannabis etiquette may be a new conversation, the concept of manners isn’t. For example, ‘puff puff pass’ isn’t just a catchy phrase - it is about proper sharing protocol when sharing a joint (which we should avoid now because of COVID). 

Cannabis is legal in Canada, whether you partake or not there is still a lot to learn. As cannabis emerges from the shadows, it’s also time to learn the right social cues from an expert in manners. 

In her book Higher Etiquette, author Lizze Post (yes, as in manners maven Emily Post's great-great granddaughter) gives us a glimpse of the place cannabis can hold in polite society. 

Higher Etiquette explores the role of etiquette and societal norms in the world of cannabis - from dispensaries to dinner parties. True to the Emily Post Institute, the book features an authoritative voice that gives context to proper social interactions through a variety of situations.

“When we talk about etiquette, we’re talking about consideration and respect and honesty and how those principles can be used to create positive social interactions,” Post tells Rolling Stone. “If cannabis is legal and it’s finding its way into our social scenes much more broadly, it makes perfect sense to have our company commenting on it.”

Call it cannabis - and other social cues

Yes, there is a way to get stoned politely. Is it ok to light a joint at someone else's home? Am I obligated to provide cannabis to guests if I am serving alcohol? How do I approach the topic?

There are unspoken rules of cannabis culture that go much deeper than which way to pass the weed. A person knows exactly how much wine to provide at a house party but aren’t necessarily familiar - or comfortable - establishing 420 house rules. 

In her book, Post details 176 pages worth of education, terminology, and tips. The result is a definitive guide for the modern cannabis consumer. Outlining everything from hosting a cannabis themed party to simply knowing the right time to excuse yourself when in the company of non-cannabis consumers.

Polite cannabis consumption looks like; always offer guests the first serving, provide alcohol etc for sanitization, be courteous around when and where to indulge, offer alternative ways home to driving, call it cannabis instead of marijuana, and if you offer any cannabis products to guests - label them thoroughly.

Puff puff don’t pass - right now

The book may be from before the pandemic but that doesn’t stop Post from sharing some tips on sanitation that are very helpful in today’s COVID times. For instance, a common social custom among cannabis enthusiasts is to share with each other. However for the foreseeable future - not sharing is caring. 

That doesn’t mean that manners go out the window though! Post suggests rolling personal sized joints for you and your friends. While you may not be able to physically share the same joint, there is still a sense of comradery when simply enjoying cannabis in a social scene. 

Even in pre-covid times, Post recommends having alcohol on hand to sanitize mouthpieces between guests. A really neat tip to avoid swapping saliva when we can ‘puff puff pass’ again is to use a bowl of water to moisten the glue on rolling papers instead of licking it. 

Stigma smashing - normalize the plant

Frankly, even the fact that the Emily Post Institute would publish a book about weed etiquette has done wonders for smashing stigma. The main way to challenge assumptions of what it’s like to ‘smoke weed like a lady’ is to have an open and honest conversation about cannabis, in whatever form that may take. 

Normalize cannabis in social settings by establishing a smoking/vaping area for guests. You don’t need to run to your local cannabis store and stock up on weed like you would wine (unless you want to!). But it is a good idea to let guests know if your home is, or isn’t, a 420 friendly one.

If legalization has shown us anything, it’s that cannabis consumers are just everyday people. Cannabis is still pretty new to a lot of people and we are all figuring it out together. Books like Higher Etiquette normalize cannabis in social settings and provide an instructional how-to on courteous consumption.